We were given a load of cash and asked what we thought about chewing gum. We didn't think it was very good.
Weird texture and it makes you make a noise.
Yeah the noise is horrible I have to leave the room.
Do we buy it.
Not really.
Maybe before a job interview or before we think we might be about to put bits of our mouths inside other mouths.
So if you were offered some you'd decline it.
Never. Accept it, every time.
But you don't like it.
Not at all.
But you accept it when it's offered.
Always.
Right. Would any of these things make you buy it do you think?
And they showed us some A4 adverts featuring TV brains like Stephen Fry. They all had a bright little gum packet peeping out of their top pocket and a phrase next to their face saying chewing is good and healthy and buy this gum or your face'll collapse.
Do you like these people?
I did but not now they're trying to sell me chewing gum no. I'm surprised and disappointed. And, they've probably had their teeth whitened anyway. This guy in the white coat's the best. I've never seen him before so I'm not disappointed in him.
Here's one with Desperate Dan on it, I think this is our favourite.
Why would I take health advice from a 2D pie addict?
Would it make you buy the gum?
I'd have some if it was free. If it's so essential why isn't it part of life for everyone like underpants and panic? I'd have it if they've somehow made it nice. But it's not saying they've made it nice it's just saying I should have it.
There was a plate of biscuits on the table and two of the people who'd objected to the noise of chewing gum being chewed took a biscuit each and started chewing. Then we were subjected to Joanna Lumley in a cafe expressing the intensity of her belief that chewing gum is a good thing by using the word jolly. As it was passed around there were tuts and groans and someone said oh christ not Lumley.
But people like her.
Well they won't when they see this. It hasn't run already has it?
It has yes.
