Gonna dig up that new site from somewhere soontime. It'll be so menthol and moreish. It'll be Jenny Holzer meets Kool A.D. It'll take me another fifteen months and still be ahead of its bloat.
I can't thank-bomb you all enough, whoever you all are. While I've been away from here working on things I've also been working on other things. Here is one of the other things.


I do yes I do apologise for the plummet. I plan to re-emerge writing only in capital letters on an uninvented format. I'm getting married and we're moving to Aberystwyth. All my jars are tasty.

I picture it like a quarter-screen block of text on the left and some limited options on the right. The block of text would be different every time you loaded the page but there'd be no chronology, title, date, etc.

Helicopters / Wagner

Evidently change happens in the background:

Getting married Septmber 3rd.

Applying for MA anywhere.

Moving house to wherever anywhere ends up being.

Would like to meet affordable future.

Most people I work with = six years no pay rise.

Submitted a petition to UK government titled "Privatise the royal family".

Rejected on grounds it was a joke.

I failed to mention I wasn't joking.

So what could they do.

Their hands were tied.

When someone says their hands were tied they mean they didn't want to voice an alternative for fear it might affect their status.

You hear it a lot in the Civil Service.

I'm off.

I thank you for reading.

I hope to re-emerge soon with something gobby and less comprehensible.

Catastrophic Towel Approval

My computer exploded. Luckily I was wearing the full-face helmet I always use when internet shopping. I haven't been able to leak any words onto this page until now, on a borrowed Apple "Macintosh", a cold and bastard-shaped horror-box it's impossible to think with. But I should tell you there's a new book out that I wrote, that I mentioned a while ago:

Herewith In Respect Of

The workflow management spreadsheet. The performance improvement plan. The good-enough register. The fishbone diagram. The likelihood predictor. The degradation forecast. The snack matrix. The talent bugle. The resentment pipe. The multi-skilling index. The uncertainty tracker. The obedience league. The overtime conundrum. The arrears fudger. The contradiction infuser. The hangover poem. The pay freeze. The patience margin. The flexibility insister. The morale barometer. The fridge.