The Beast is Loose

Announcement:
I wrote a story for Inkymole, who made it into a tremendously-illustrated book-and-record package and it's out now, right now, all over your town like rent and right angles. The record features B. Dolan reading the story over Buddy Peace's music. B has an all-time classic voice and is good at words, Buddy makes proper wholesome sauce.

This feels huge, a bit like I went through a wormhole.

It's available for sale from Unearthed and Juno
And in Germany from deejay
And it's in the internet (yeah in) here.

Thanks for reading.

Granville Surprise

An Amethyst Unicorn in the Aquarium. Not in one of the tanks, in its own alcove. The only sign relating to it is the one on its back. It says "Please Keep Off The Unicorn".
Most of the Aquarium is not an Aquarium. About two thirds of the space is taken up by oddities. It's as if, after buying the two large sea lions in the outdoor tank, there was no money left for fish, and the owner filled the unused space with freakish ornaments. Angel shrines made of mussels. Oyster shells like trays. Clams the size of coffee tables. There's a series of rooms full of these things, each more baffling and brilliant than the last. A volcano made of molluscs that lights up every twenty seconds. A man made entirely of whelks. A twisting, climbing corridor connects the rooms and the route it takes is disorientating. The exit signs keep changing direction. Eventually some stairs take you down directly into the gift shop, which makes no mention of the weirdness and very little mention of the fish. Mostly it's postcards and pencils.
Back outside the sea lions take a break from swimming the circumference of their tank to be fed. A girl appears with a large silver bowl of fish. The largest sea lion, Hector, is already waiting, stood up nine feet tall at the opposite side of the tank, battling seagulls. The girl throws the fish directly down his throat. The smaller, Sally, stays in the tank and pokes her mouth just out of the water for the fish to flop into. They make very little noise. When the girl shows them the bowl is empty they resume their circling. They only ever go anti-clockwise.