We went to see some very clever men sit in a line and refer to themselves. An audience of seven hundred gained no knowledge and reassessed their priorities. After fifty minutes a microphone was thrown around and some cheap coats made daft noise while the very clever men attempted how-bloody-interesting faces before boldly responding to the questions that hadn't been asked. We had paid money and booked time off work and travelled hundreds of miles. It was a plan. Afterwards we drank dark things and ruminated. The sky had been cancelled and the river came up to your balls.