Low Resolution Events

In January I finished another book and set about foisting it into the future, with the help of some expert foisters. The idea was to have someone I've never met say this is good.
Someone I'd never met said this is good.
Then the idea was to have an agent read it and say this is good.
An agent read it and said this is good, but it lacks what would make me love it, so you should send it to someone who, etc, good luck.
Now the idea is to explain it, in summary and at length and in various formats, to help the people employed to find new good things to figure out what it is and whether if it's new it could be good. Tell me again what exactly it is you're trying to do here or get out of my office.
I can't get much further than These words in this order seem alright to me and I'm a big fan of gaps. A man spends a year achieving nothing. It's called Yet.

Just A Few Questions Before You Decide

Greeting. Thanks for turning up on time.
Greeting. Self-deprecating quip.
Acknowledgement. Let's go upstairs.
It looks better than it does online.
Say hello to the current tenant who is only moving out because his wife would prefer it if they both lived in the same house, and now that the conservatives have fortified the economy, he and she can both find work in the same town again.
Carefully-pitched chuckling intended to create the impression that I know all about economies and wives and their just-between-us-three-young-but-mature-men-here outrageous demands.
And when would you prefer to move in?
Slightly after as soon as possible.
And is your monthly income guaranteed indefinitely?
No. But I've at least been getting demonstrably more sensible since my mind collapsed.
Alright. Will you be able to give us all your money quite soon?
Absolutely.
And then a bit more, later?
I can promise to, and then we can see.
And can we legally compel someone else to owe us what you should be paying if, for example, you were to take a sudden and powerful fancy to the purchasing of elaborate liquids?
I'll ask.
And there's no washing machine.
Cleanliness is falsity anyway.
And if any bats move in you can't move them out.
I'm already my employer's Regional Diversity and Tolerance Ambassador.
Was there much bloodshed in that competition?
Not til I turned up.
And how's your citizenship?
Piqued.
And when you last checked yourself for defects, what did you find?
Only the usual.

Chinwagged

We were given a load of cash and asked what we thought about chewing gum. We didn't think it was very good.
Weird texture and it makes you make a noise.
Yeah the noise is horrible I have to leave the room.
Do we buy it.
Not really.
Maybe before a job interview or before we think we might be about to put bits of our mouths inside other mouths.
So if you were offered some you'd decline it.
Never. Accept it, every time.
But you don't like it.
Not at all.
But you accept it when it's offered.
Always.
Right. Would any of these things make you buy it do you think?
And they showed us some A4 adverts featuring TV brains like Stephen Fry. They all had a bright little gum packet peeping out of their top pocket and a phrase next to their face saying chewing is good and healthy and buy this gum or your face'll collapse.
Do you like these people?
I did but not now they're trying to sell me chewing gum no. I'm surprised and disappointed. And, they've probably had their teeth whitened anyway. This guy in the white coat's the best. I've never seen him before so I'm not disappointed in him.
Here's one with Desperate Dan on it, I think this is our favourite.
Why would I take health advice from a 2D pie addict?
Would it make you buy the gum?
I'd have some if it was free. If it's so essential why isn't it part of life for everyone like underpants and panic? I'd have it if they've somehow made it nice. But it's not saying they've made it nice it's just saying I should have it.
There was a plate of biscuits on the table and two of the people who'd objected to the noise of chewing gum being chewed took a biscuit each and started chewing. Then we were subjected to Joanna Lumley in a cafe expressing the intensity of her belief that chewing gum is a good thing by using the word jolly. As it was passed around there were tuts and groans and someone said oh christ not Lumley.
But people like her.
Well they won't when they see this. It hasn't run already has it?
It has yes.

One of a possible many

He didn't even look me in the eyes. He played with a pair of scissors while he told me no jobs, no jobs, you're best off elsewhere because although this is an employment agency there are no jobs, like although this looks like a beach, you can't go in the sea. We got done in two minutes what we could've done in two seconds with my raised eyebrows and his quick shake of the head.
A different one said there might be something in November, like there might not be a November.
It's good that they're not lying to me like I'm going to lie to them.